Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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