I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
