his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
well you can't waste a boner
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
