we're blogging at a bar
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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