ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
another moral hangover. fuck.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
