do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize