this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
