dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
