used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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