Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
