I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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