chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
