Buhtt sex?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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