Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
