In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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