After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
