you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
