What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
