Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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