Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Randomize
