I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
