you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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