Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
smell my finger.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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