If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
