I think I died a long time ago.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Randomize
