im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
