If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
