Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
