Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
