someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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