Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
