This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
