Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
