I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
