it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
