she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
