he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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