come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
