dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
