I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize