We're like a lot better than the average bears
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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