So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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