I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize