i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
