Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
