:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
