he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
