I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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