the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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