If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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