so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
