I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
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