he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
