And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
