Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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