non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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