nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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