remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
this just has baby written all over it
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
