I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
